Group Captain, I'm afraid this is not an exercise. Over the intercom, Kong delivers a memorable, patriotic speech to his men - a parody of the totally-loyal American sent on a glory mission: General Ripper has effectively closed off his base so that it will be impossible to reverse the order or contact him. Nuclear pronounced 'nookular' combat, toe-to-toe with the Rooskies. Now, I want you to transmit plan R, R for Robert, to the wing. It decoded as Wing Attack, Plan R. It just came in on the Red Phone. The obsessively paranoid, crazed, right-wing commander sits at his desk in a dark room, chomping on a large, jutting cigar under a fluorescent overhead lamp - he is calling about something "pretty damned important. Ain't nobody ever got the Go code yet.
Kong dons his ten-gallon hat and solemnly announces to his crew, as the soundtrack plays a snare-drum accentuated theme song: In the next scene, the phone rings in the mirrored hotel suite of hawkish, hedonistic, cartoonish General "Buck" Turgidson George C. Well I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones. As the alert is signaled by a siren sounding on the base - and the special code is transmitted to a fleet of B's, Ripper closes his venetian blinds. The film title credits -- designed by Pablo Ferro -- are his trademark: If this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions an' personal citations when this thing's over with. The Earth is without sign of man. He paranoically proclaims the Red Alert to grim-faced guards and soldiers who stand ready behind many quick shots of the soldiers is again posted the motto of the SAC: Group Captain, I'm afraid this is not an exercise. Tell ya somethin' else. Are the Russians involved, sir? That goes for every last one of ya, regardless of your race, color, or your creed. A jeep backs up, filled with all the tagged, confiscated radios that have been ordered collected, to prevent the Russians from planting false radio transmissions. Not an exercise, sir? My orders are for this base to be sealed tight, and that's what I mean to do, seal it tight. And I got a fair idea of the kind of personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human beins if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelings about nuclear combat. We got some flyin' to do. Nuclear pronounced 'nookular' combat, toe-to-toe with the Rooskies. Tell you what you do. The narrator in voice-over drones ominously, with factual directness, about a top-secret Doomsday Machine being constructed in the Arctic that could reduce the world to nothingness: Turgidson intermingles war and sex talk in his departing words: Ain't nobody ever got the Go code yet. He may even come in the uniform of our own troops. It looks like we're in a shooting war. He has just "monitored a transmission about eight minutes ago from Burpelson Air Force Base
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